My dog looks like a fuzzy penis. That is all, bye.
i sat here laughing for like ten minutes
I almost had a heart attack last night while my husband and I were lying in bed reading and his entire body starts shaking. I’m all ARE YOU OK ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE ARE YOU CRYING WHATS HAPPENING
and then i realize he’s just laughing hysterically- so hard that he CANT MAKE NOISE
And I go: Are you thinking about that damn penis dog again?
him: *silent nodding while he claps like a retarded seal*
first of all, who thought it was a good idea to let attractive boys be on broadway
remember, kids. ”pinnacles” is pronounced
WHY DOES THIS MAKE SO MUCH SENSE
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
if you don’t think history is amusing then you’re wrong because one time 3 different guys declared themselves pope all at once and they all excommunicated each other and it was basically the funniest shit ever
what about that time the Lichtenstein army sent 80 men to Italy to fight and came back with 81
what about the time when a guy tried to assassinate the archduke, failed, and threw himself into a 2 inch deep river in a suicide attempt
I know that this is annoying as shit and that everyone does it but right now i’m listening to my sister cry from her room. She’s crying because she thinks she’s disgusting. I tried to tell her that no, she’s not. But she just waved me off saying “You have to say that. You’re my sister.”
My sister is the most beautiful girl (inside- out) that I’ve ever met in my entire life, and she can’t see that. It physically hurts in me to hear her sobs. So I’m asking you this tumblr, because you’re not related to her and you don’t “have” to think a certain way, if you think she’s gorgeous, reblog this.
I want her to see how beautiful she really is.